Nebraska History
by vanessah
Summary: When a new resident with a mysterious past joins the staff at County, Dr. Ray Barnett falls head over heels for her. However, will he be able to get past her secrets, or will he let true love go?
1. Prologue

First off, with the exception of Katherine, Matt, and Lily Flaherty, I don't own any of the characters associated with the TV show ER. The story is completely from my imagination and just brings in some of the characters.

Author's Note: I have been a fan of ER since I was very young, and wanted to create a character with roots in Nebraska. She's slightly based off of myself, personality wise, but none of her history has anything to do with anything I have experienced. This is my first attempt at Fan Fiction, and I would love reviews, either way.

Prologue:

Kate gazed out the window of her new apartment. The scenery outside of the apartment was so different from the fields back in Nebraska. Tall buildings surrounded every square foot of the apartment, making Kate feel insignificant in comparison.

_This is your chance for change Kate. It's been a year, it's behind you. Get over it!_

Kate unconsciously realized that she wouldn't be able to just put the past year behind her.


	2. First Day

Chapter 1

"Watch out!"

Kate jumped out of the way of a swarm of doctors and nurses rushing into the ambulance bay to grab the new arrival. She watched silently as they wheeled the stretcher carrying the still form of a woman into the doors of the ER. Unconsciously, she touched the scar on her cheek and forced back memories of that terrible day nearly a year ago.

_It's over_, she thought to herself. _You are starting your new life in Chicago, far away from rural Nebraska. You'll never have to go back. _She squared her shoulders and walked quickly through the doors of County into the packed ER.

"Excuse me, I'm Dr. Katherine Flaherty, the new ER resident."

The harried desk clerk smirked at her. "Welcome to County, have fun." Kate tried to catch his eye again, but he was on the phone and ignoring her.

"Excuse me," she said to a dark-haired man in a white lab coat, "I'm the new resident from the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha. It's supposed to be my first day."

"Oh, right. I'm Luca Kovach, you picked a good day, we aren't too busy yet."

She smiled at him and even though it wasn't her style, she gave him the once over. _Very good_-_looking_, she thought, _and that accent is to die for_.

"So, since we have gone over the basics, let me give you the tour." Kate blushed and quickly nodded.

_Pay attention, _she scolded herself, _he's not your type, and getting involved with somebody is the last thing you need right now. _

She followed Luca around the ER as he showed her the exam and trauma rooms and introduced her to various people along the way.

"Well, that's about it, let's get you a lab coat and you can get started."

A different voice chimed in, "Well, Luca, aren't you going to introduce me to this gorgeous woman."

Kate whirled around to glare in the direction of the voice and get ready to give him a piece of her mind. She found herself staring into the eyes of a very handsome young man. He had dark hair and was average height and build, but his eyes drew her in. There was something very familiar about them, like they reminded her of somebody.

"Ray Barnett," the man said extending his hand, "I'm assuming we'll be working together Miss…"

Kate shook back her auburn hair, extended her hand and with a smile corrected him with, "Doctor Flaherty actually, Katherine Flaherty, but I prefer Kate, Dr. Barnett."

Ray returned her grin, "Just Ray. Would you like to grab some coffee after the shift?" Kate bit her lip as she tried to think of a reason to turn him down.

_Those eyes. Why do they have to look so much like Matt's. Maybe it's a sign from him. _She quickly made up her mind.

"Meet you at nine." She headed to the elevators to pick up her lab coat.

"I think I'm in love," said Ray with a silly grin on his face. "What's her story Luca?"

Luca glanced at the cocky young doctor. "She's from Nebraska, and starting her residency in emergency medicine. Ray, be kind to her, there's something that happened in her past, I can see the pain lingering in her eyes."

"I'm always nice," Ray replied.

"You know what I mean. She's not a groupie following your band."

Ray's smile disappeared. "I know how to treat a girl Luca. I just wanted to let you know I was interested in her, get some background, that kind of thing."

Both men looked up as the elevator doors opened and Kate stepped out wearing a brand new white coat.

Ray felt his heart leap into his throat. She wasn't his usual type at all, but there was something about her that just drew him to her. She had auburn hair that cascaded past her shoulders, and these wonderful blue eyes. He took in her milky skin and the smattering of freckles dusting her nose.

_What is it about her?_ _I feel like there's some connection drawing me to her. _ Ray brushed his fingers over the lettering that read, _Dr. Katherine Flaherty. _

"Congratulations, you're official now", he said in his husky voice. Kate blushed furiously at his nearness.


	3. A New Beginning?

Chapter 2

The day passed relatively quickly, and soon, Kate was waiting for Ray to finish his shift. She was just checking her face in a compact when she felt somebody come up behind her.

"You don't need that. You look great." Ray grinned at her and held out his arm. She linked her hand around his elbow and they headed across the street to the coffee shop.

"So this med student was rushing around and she totally slid on the floor right into a man sitting in chairs. Somehow, she managed not to spill the urine sample in her hands all over him."

Ray leaned back and let out a loud laugh. The two had been telling stories for the past two hours. Ray couldn't shake the fact that she was keeping something. She talked all about her med school years, but she didn't mention any family.

"Well, if you are here with me, I'm assuming there's no husband in the picture," he said with a grin.

Kate squirmed in her seat. "No, no husband." _Not anymore, _she thought to herself.

"So, you are available," Ray continued, "I don't want to be too forward, and I know we just met, but I'm really drawn to you for some reason. I don't know why, but I feel like I know you already."

Kate gave him a small smile and nodded her head. "I know the feeling. Your eyes remind me so much of somebody I once knew."

"The husband?" Ray asked with a smile.

Before she could answer, he leaned over the table and kissed her. She was surprised to find herself kissing him back. The two paid the bill and walked out of the coffee shop.

"I'm not normally like this, but can I see where you live?" Kate asked shyly.

They caught a cab and went to Ray's apartment. Neela, his roommate was watching TV. She gave them a shocked look. Ray took Kate's hand and led her to his bedroom.

"I don't know what you had planned, but I don't want to do anything with you tonight. I would love for you to stay, but I think something could really happen here, and I don't want to do anything we would regret."

_Whoa, did those words really just come out of my mouth, _Ray thought. _What's going on with me, normally I'd be all over her. She's gonna think I'm a wimp or something._

Kate smiled at him and nodded. "I'd like it if you would just hold me. I mean if you are comfortable with that," she quickly added.

Ray pulled her onto the bed and wrapped her up in his arms.

_This feels so right, _he thought, _I feel like we are meant to be like this. Like she was made to be in my arms. _

Kate's heart beat like crazy. _Wow, it's like being in Matt's arms again. Why does Ray remind me so much of my husband? _

She snuggled closer to him and the two drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

In the next room, Neela listened for the usual sounds of the girls Ray brought home. He tended to get a little crazy, and some nights, Neela thought his bed would crash right through her bedroom wall. But all was quiet. Neela turned over and with a sigh, went to sleep.

A few weeks later…

"We have a family involved in a MVA. Vitals are stable on the father, looks like abrasions and possibly a concussion. Mother is tacky, possible ankle fracture, lots of cuts and lots of glass in both of them." The paramedic rattled off the list of vitals and information about the patients that had just been unloaded from the two rigs.

"Ok people, put the father in Curtain 3 and the mom and baby in the trauma rooms." The orders came from a woman with dark brown hair. "You, the new girl, can you take the baby with Ray?"

Kate nodded and followed Ray into the room that held the child on the gurney in the middle of the room.

"Well, let's get you started. Why don't you check some of the facial lacerations and possibly suture, and order a set of labs. I need a portable x-ray in here and see if we can get some information from the father."

Ray began to work on the infant. Kate quickly went to the head of the gurney. The little boy was screaming as she reached for the cart that held antiseptic and suture kits. She tried calming him down as she began cleaning the cuts on his face. Only one was deep enough to warrant stitches. She finished them up quickly.

"Very good," said Ray as he surveyed her work, "Go help Abby with the mother and I'll finish up here."

Kate rushed down the hall to Trauma 2 and prepared to listen to Dr. Lockhart's orders.

"Where's my baby? What's wrong with him? John, where's the baby? I'm coming to help you baby, hold on!" The mother on the gurney was screaming with pain with the fear of not seeing her child.

"Shhhh, ma'am. It's ok, your baby is fine, he survived the accident and so did your husband." Sam, the nurse was trying to calm the woman and insert an IV at the same time.

Kate could hear her heart thudding in her ears. _You're ok, that happened almost a year ago. Get over it and get in there and help. _She felt herself frozen at the door, then she felt the tears start to flow. She rushed away from the trauma room and ran into the lounge.

Once inside the door, Kate let out an anguished sob and collapsed on the couch as her memories came flooding back to her. She could feel the car slide and heard the crunch of metal. She felt the warm liquid dripping down her face and wiped at it frantically until she realized it wasn't blood, it was tears. She heard the door open and looked up into the kindly face of Luca.

"Kate, are you alright?" Luca crossed the room and sat down beside her, a look of concern on his face.

"Fine, just not ready for the trauma I guess."

Luca gave her a look and sat down beside her. "You know, we got some of your history when you applied to be a resident. Care to talk about it, it helps sometimes."

Kate looked at him, "I don't think so, talking about it won't bring them back. Besides, you wouldn't understand."

A look of pain flashed in Luca's eyes. "I think I understand better than you think. My wife and children were killed in Croatia during the war. Our apartment was bombed when I was at the market. I tried to save them, but I was too late and didn't have enough supplies."

Kate looked down. Was she ready to relive that night? With a sigh, she began her story.

(Author's Note: The following chapter in italics is Kate telling Luca her story)


	4. Remembering

Chapter 3

_It was a week before Christmas. I had just finished the first half of my last year of med school, and Matt, my husband, was so happy to have me home. We had gotten married the summer before I graduated college. Our house was an hour away from my school, so I was living in Omaha while he farmed back home. It had been strange, but he didn't want to keep me from my dream of being a doctor, and he was already settled on the farm, so we just decided to make a long distance marriage work. He visited me every weekend, and he was so excited to have me home for an entire month. _

_Another good thing about being home was that he would definitely be there when our baby was born. She was due December 20th. We were anxiously counting the days until she came into our lives. I remember I was baking cookies while Matt was building a fire in the fireplace and putting up some last minute decorations in preparation for our families arriving. Snow was falling outside. I think we had accumulated about ten inches so far. It was a picturesque winter's night. I bent over to take the cookies out of the oven, and felt a stab of pain shoot across my abdomen. I looked down at the floor, and realized my water had broken. "Matt," I screamed, "The baby is coming." _

_We'd been prepared for this. Matt grabbed my bag and helped me into his truck. It was early in my labor, but the hospital was over half and hour away, and the roads weren't that great due to the weather, so we left right away, just in case. He carefully wrapped the seatbelt around my waist and gave me a bunch of towels and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders, then jumped into the driver's seat of the truck. He was in such a hurry he didn't buckle his seatbelt, and I was in too much pain to notice._

_The roads were really bad, so it was taking a lot longer than we expected. Matt kept glancing over at me and he would grab my hand whenever I was having a contraction. We finally neared the exit and Matt turned on his signal to get off the highway. As he slowed down to merge onto the exit, I heard a crunch and felt the truck start to slide off the road. "Shit Kate, she hit us." Matt tried to correct the truck and get back onto the road, but I felt us fall into the ditch and then everything went black._

_Intense paid drew me out of my unconsciousness. I reached for Matt's hand as the pressure exploded inside of me. "Matt, I ruptured my membranes, this baby is coming now." I got no response. I twisted myself as much as I could and saw Matt. He was partially hanging out of the windshield. "Help," I screamed, "Somebody help us!" I could hear footsteps crunching across the snow. "I'm so sorry. I was sliding on the ice and couldn't stop. I didn't mean to hit you." A middle-aged woman had come up to the passenger side window. "It's fine, please check my husband." She rushed around the truck and checked for a pulse. "Ma'am, he doesn't have a pulse and he's not breathing. I think he's gone."_

"_No, he can't be! I love you Matt! Stay with me, you have to meet our daughter. You can't leave us." I was crying for Matt and screaming with the pain of the labor. The woman came racing back down to me. "The ambulance is on its way, they told me to help you anyway I can, but that you shouldn't push since neither of us knows how to deliver a baby." "It's ok, I'm a doctor I can talk you through this. My name is Kate, can you open the door and pull my legs out so they are hanging out of the truck." The woman quickly did as I instructed. "Oh my god! I see the head, what do I do?" I remember talking her through the birth. Right as my daughter came into the world, I heard the sound of sirens, and passed out again. _

_I woke up in a hospital room with my parent's and Matt's parent's standing around me. My mom rushed to my side and took my hand. "Where's my baby?" I sat up in preparation for meeting my daughter. "Honey, she didn't make it. I don't know all the details, the doctor should be in here soon to explain everything." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Tell them to bring me my baby!" "Kate, she is in Heaven with Matt. You can't see her right now." By that time my father had pushed the call button, and Dr. Parker, my ob/gyn had come in. He cleared the room and sat down beside my bed._

"_Kate, when the truck crashed, part the dash collapsed on your stomach. We think the blow killed your baby instantly. She was stillborn. I'm sorry." He held me as tears flooded down my face. I cried for Matt, and our child, and for the fact that my life would never be the same. "You can hold her if you want too. I know it might not be what you want to do right now, but you can at least say goodbye this way." I weakly nodded, and he went down the hall and came back pushing a rolling cradle. "I'll leave you two alone." He handed me the bundle of pink blankets and left the room._

_I was all I could take to peel back those blankets from her face. My baby. She was so perfect. Red curls peeked out from under the cap the nurses had placed on her head. I counted her fingers and toes and looked at her face to try to pick out features that were mine or that were Matt's. Aside from her being cold, she looked like she could wake up any minute. I wondered if she was alive what her personality would be. I imagined all the memories that we could have made together. I saw her taking her first steps, and I saw Matt and I walking her to her first day of kindergarten. I let out a sob and clutched her close to me. "Stop this," I told myself, "You don't have much time with her, make what you do have count." I took a deep shuddering breath and began to sing the song that was playing on the radio as I was giving birth._

_When I think back on these times, and the dreams we left behind._

_I'll be glad cuz I was blessed, a gift to have you in my life._

_When I look back on these days, I'll look and see your face._

_You were right there for me._

_In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky._

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life._

_I'll keep a part of you with me, and everywhere I am there you'll be._

"_Hush now," I told my daughter, "Sleep in peace and go to daddy. I love you both so much and I always will."_


	5. Explainations

Chapter 4

(Author's Note: The story is finished and she's back with Luca in the lounge)

"I named her Lily, because she was just as delicate as the flower. It's strange, but her middle name is Matthew, after her father. I know it's a boy's name, but I didn't care."

Kate finished her story and turned to face Luca. Tears were in his eyes, and wordlessly, he embraced her in a tight hug.

"Hey, we have patients backing up out here…What's going on?" Ray had burst into the door and was glaring angrily at the scene.

Kate jumped up and brushed the tears from her face with her sleeves. Luca stood up and walked over to Ray and began speaking to him. Kate couldn't hear the words, but they seemed heated.

"How could you Luca? I told you I was interested in her." Ray glared at his attending with fire in his eyes.

"Easy Ray, we were just talking. She was upset and I tried to comfort her, that's all."

"Yeah right. You warn me to be nice and here you are getting her all emotional and taking advantage of the situation. How can you do this to Abby? Doesn't she mean anything to you? I'm outta here." Ray pushed open the door and stormed down the hall.

Luca turned to Kate and tried to force a smile.

"I should go explain stuff to him," Kate managed, "I didn't realize he cared so much. We've haven't known eachother long, and we aren't that serious."

"Kate, I've never seen him this upset about a girl. Something is wrong."

Kate nodded at Luca and walked into the bustling hallway. She spotted Ray down the hall and called to him. He ignored her and kept walking. He walked into the elevator, and she raced to it and managed to jump in before he could close the door on her face. She used all of the strength in her 5 foot 2 inch frame to push him up against the side of the elevator.

"Listen up, I'm not interested in Luca. What you walked in on was nothing. I was telling him about my past and he was trying to comfort me."

Ray pushed against her and pinned her against the opposite side of the elevator. "We've been together over a month and you won't tell me anything about your past but you open up to him. Why can't you share that with me? Why don't you trust me?"

The elevator doors opened and Ray stormed out. When he was changing by his locker later that day, he saw a not from Kate.

_Ray_

_You're right, I haven't let you in. I'm sorry for that and I hope we can put this all behind us. If you still care, come to my house at eight tonight for supper and I'll tell you whatever you need to know. If you don't come, I won't bother you again. Please give me this chance to explain. _

_Love,_

_Kate_

He started to crumple the note, but then folded it up and put it back in his locker. He glanced at his watch. He had just enough time to run home, shower and get changed before he had to meet her. He kicked his locker shut, grabbed his bag, and headed toward the L train.

Kate double checked the table setting. She walked through the living room and adjusted the pictures on the coffee table. She sat on the couch and stared at the photographs. One was from her and Matt's wedding day. _We were so happy, so optimistic. _Her gaze wandered to the second picture. Lily. Immortalized forever on film. She still had some color when the photo was taken, and even though she didn't look completely alive, by looking at the photo nobody would be able to easily place what was odd about the picture. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Ray stood sheepishly in the doorway. He brought a bouquet of lilies out from behind his back. She managed a smile and stepped back so he could come in. He sat on the couch as she went to the kitchen for a vase.

As she walked back in, she quickly noticed the look of shock on his face. He was clutching her wedding photo in his hands. He brought his eyes up to look at her.

"You were married? That's your secret? What, are you still in love with him or something?" he asked, accusingly.

She crossed the living room and sat down beside him.

"I'll tell you everything." She took a deep breath and recounted her story.

When she finished, she forced herself to look him in the eyes.

"Don't hate me for not telling you before. I didn't talk about it for the longest time. I didn't know how people would react, and I didn't want pity."


	6. The First Day Of The Rest Of Their Lives

Chapter 5

_This is what she's been hiding all this time. _

"Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I wouldn't be able to handle it or something?"

Kate shook her head. "I regret not telling you sooner, and I hope you'll be able to forgive me."

Ray stood up. "This doesn't change my feelings for you at all Kate. I was drawn to you from the first time we met. I don't know why, but I felt like I had known you forever."

Kate picked up her wedding photo and handed it to him. "Look at Matt's eyes. They are yours. I felt the same thing, and realized it was the eyes. I feel like every time I look at you that some of his love is shining through them. I know you aren't him, and I don't want you to be… and this just sounds really freaky and I'm just going to stop now."

"Kate, it's not freaky. When I met you I felt something was different. I'm not the romantic type of guy, but with you, it was different. I didn't just see you as a groupie, I saw you as somebody I could possibly love. It was emotions I had never felt about anyone before. If that was some of Matt's love for you somehow, that's fine. But I know that I love you, and that it's my true feelings. My feelings, and nobody else's."

He pulled her to her feet and kissed her. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, she felt like her life was complete. The part of her heart that had been missing for so long was back and stronger than ever.

A year later…

Ray grabbed her hand and they walked out of the reception and headed back to the apartment.

"Well Dr. Barnett, shall we go home?"

"I'd love to Dr. Barnett."

Ray picked her up and carried her over the threshold of their new apartment. He carried her into the bedroom and the two spent their first night together as husband and wife.

Ray woke up the next morning and watched his wife sleep. _She's so beautiful. I'm so lucky I found her. _He bent down to kiss her good-morning.

"I love you so much Kate. Wake up so we can spend the rest of our lives together."

She grinned up at him and kissed him back. They were finally home.


End file.
